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  • Writer's pictureLaurie-Ell Bashforth

when we speak up

Updated: May 8, 2020

A few weeks ago I had so much fun presenting my third workshop for a program that I offer to schools and school divisions called, Raise Your Positive Voice.

This particular workshop focused on emotional awareness, a pillar of Social Emotional Learning, and training your brain to look for the positives, therefore broadening your perceptions.

Discussion came up around the use of positive language to help us in building the inner view you have of yourself, and the conflict it causes with being humble.

This was one of the most valuable conversations of the day.

I see it all the time. Especially with women. Especially in serving professions. You can tell people they're amazing and really cool, and superman good at what they do... but how often do you give that loving kindness to yourself.

We excuse it away too quickly. We say, “It’s good to be humble.” I agree with Tim McGraw whose lyrics say "stay humble and kind", but not to the point that you downsize your self-worth.

When I work with teachers this is an area that causes high emotion. The work is so close to their hearts. Teachers are in the profession of serving' as are doctors, pharmacists, nurses etc. It's in the act of serving that you believe you have something to offer. You. This in itself makes you valuable to all those around you.

Playing yourself down is not the best way to serve.

You should be able to shine. And your leaders should be encouraging you to shine brighter than the sun. Because, that light changes all those around you, including yourself.

Would you want a server in a restaurant to give you only half of what they have to offer of themselves? Isn’t it true that we value this with a tip? A dulled down version of yourself in any profession is not what life is meant to be about.

This is so common in particular for women. Men don't have any hesitation saying they're awesome (I live in a household of men. They say it all the time).

They portray confidence at the coffee machine, in the staff room. Women do the opposite. We can accept that we're good at a detailed action but when it comes to who was are we fall on the sword of humility. Invisible messages gave us the belief that there is beauty in being humble, demure and quiet.

So what about this? What if you could view humility with grace? When you have graceful humility you're able to gratefully receive the knowing, awesome, worthiness that is your divine right, and then spread that outwards to others. You have a sense of belonging in this world. F*&k ups are only hiccups in the road. No big deal.

Graceful humility gives you permission to receive a compliment. A thank you. Graceful humility allows you to ask for help. It allows you to be vulnerable. Wouldn't that be a beautiful thing?

Being humble doesn’t mean sitting on the sidelines and playing small.

Yet how many of you do?

Let me ask, Who does it serve to play small?

Imagine that you stepped into your full worth with graceful humility. Who benefits from that? Your family? Your spouse, your children, your colleagues, your employees, your employers, your students? As you step into that and really trust yourself what changes in your workplace? At home?

Big question: What needs to happen for you to believe in yourself 120%?

No one's asking you to shout it out from the rooftops. You just have to know it in your heart and shout it out to yourself. It’s the important first step to believing it. Because the hurdle isn’t in the words, it’s in your belief of yourself.

Amber Alert! It’s okay to own your voice. Even if it’s just the voice in your head. Because if you won’t trust yourself just yet, trust me for the time being, you were meant to sing!



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